A Soldier's Understanding
by Death101a
Summary: A responce to Shinigami's Yaoi Fanfic Challenge (the 2nd one), but it turned out more shonen ai... anyway, 1x4... and I suck at summaries (and titling things *points to icky title*), so that's all the information you get... please, review! pretty please


I don't own GundamWing, y'all  
  
Another one of my sad attempts at drama. Done for Shinigami's Yaoi fanfic challenge, because I decided I couldn't compete with the humor fic I saw (If you responded to Challenge number 2 as well, it's not like I read your work and thought I could outdo you! Hardly the case... in fact, I probably would have backed down from that challenge as well [cowardly me], but when I wrote this, no one else had a responce to #2 up yet.. or if they did, I never saw it/read it). So this is in responce to challenge #2, and is a 1x4 fic... but instead of being yaoi, it turned out more on the shonen ai side. Sorry! It's just the major yaoi scene I cut out at the last minute 'cause I didn't think it really fit and I didn't think it was written well... anyway, the conditions were either 1x4 or 1x3, drama, involving alcohol, peanutbutter, and pillows, using these lines: "How can someone love me this much?", "Why do you do this to me?!?" and "I'm leaving! I can't take this anymore!". I think you probably should have figured out that this is a male/male relationship fic by now, but if you haven't, I just told you. And now that I'm done blabbing, on with the horror!  
  
Oh, wait, one other warning, there is some OOCness, methinks, for some people.  
  
  
++++++++++  
  
  
  
A Soldier's Understanding  
by Shinigamis"I need to figure out how to name things better"Angel  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
Trowa had come home drunk again. His breath reeked of alcohol, and his speech was slurred. He stumbled into the penthouse suite Quatre and he shared. He didn't say one word to Quatre, just headed straight to the bathroom, where Quatre heard the door slam, and the sounds of someone retching.  
  
They were staying at the hotel because they wanted to be around for Milliardo and Noin's wedding. Everyone had come down to see them a couple weeks in advance, since they were all using the wedding as an excuse to see eachother again. And having survived the war with these people, Quatre didn't think exchanging pleasantries with them at a wedding reception was going to cut it. Trowa had thought differently, and didn't want to come down early, but with Quatre's nagging, and the fact everyone else was going to be there ahead of time as well, Trowa had given in.  
  
Quatre heard the toilet flush and left the room. He didn't want to be in the same room as Trowa while he was intoxicated and conscious. The brusies fromt he last time still hadn't faded.  
  
Not that Trowa abused him... usually. Trowa was the sweetest, if quiet, person when he was sober. That was the Trowa Quatre loved. That was the Trowa who Quatre could bare his soul to.. could trust.   
  
Then there was Trowa plastered. Bottles were hurled, obsenities screamed, and punches thrown. Quatre couldn't bring himself to defend himself against Trowa. Not when he knew that the kind boy he loved was in there.  
  
Quatre had tried to get Trowa to seek help when he started to go out and come back wasted more and more frequenly. Trowa didn't listen, and Quatre couldn't force Trowa to listen. He wondered if Trowa remembered what happened when he was drunk. Trowa would never mentioned it after his hang over. Even when he was staring a black-eyed Quatre in the face. Quatre wasn't sure what to do. This never used to happen a year or two ago....  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
Heero watched as Duo made himself two more peanutbutter sandwiches. Duo said it was the only thing he could make that was edible. He had demonstrated his complete lack of cooking skill when he tried four times unsuccessfully to make toast. You'd think sticking bread in a toaster and pushing a button would be exceedingly simple for one who pilots a piece of machinery like the Deathscythe. But twice Duo's bread had not toasted at all, the other two times it had come out blacker than his gundam. So, since Duo tended to get hunger attacks at the strangest times, he'd gone out and bought some supplies to keep himself in peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches for quite some time.  
  
They were sharing a room in the same hotel Trowa and Quatre were at. Despite what alot of people were saying, they weren't sleeping together. Sure, Heero could have easily arranged for seperate room, and hacked it so that they didn't have to pay a dime, but tended not to used those skills when they weren't really necessary. Duo was one of the few people who's presence he didn't mind... most of the time. Duo could really shot his mouth off at inopportune times and be a general pain in the ass.. at least, that's what Heero thought. Which was one of the reasons they didn't have a relationship in the way everyone thought they did. Duo was just one of the few people Heero thought of as a friend.  
  
"Damn, outta peanut butter.." Duo mumbled, and looked up at Heero, "I'm gonna run out really quick and pick some up. Need anything from the grocery store?"  
  
"No." Duo didn't waste a second after Heero answered him, and was out the door in a flash. Heero flipped on the TV, and was about to check the movie listings when the telephone rang. Heero turned off the TV and answered it.   
  
"Hello? Is Heero Yuy there?" came a familair voice.  
  
"Yea" Heero said, reconizing the speaker as Rashid.  
  
"I've got something to ask of you...."  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
Quatre ventured silently into the bedroom, hoping Trowa was already asleep. He doubted Duo ever had to put up with this...  
  
Lucky Duo... he had never tried to court Heero, although the thought had crossed his mind several times. He simply never had the chance. At first, he thought Heero was straight... well, back then, according to Relena, he was. Relena had finally accepted Heero's sexuallty after the war, not that Heero ever cared. Well, if he did, it wasn' in an obvious way.. But the time he'd found out about Heero's preferances, Duo and he were a pair, and Quatre had already decided to invovle himself with Trowa...  
  
"What da helsh ya doin'...?"  
  
No such luck. Quatre sighed to himself, "Well, I thought I might -try- to go to sleep."  
  
"I won' 'av none o dat" Trowa mumbled as he rolled outta the bed, half undressed, and falled on his face. He managed to stand himself up, and he started to go for Quatre.  
  
"Trowa, you're drunk.. just sleep, alright?"  
  
"You tellin' me wha ta do...?!?" Trowa bellowed, and dove for Quatre, Quatre nimbly jumping aside.  
  
"Trowa! Do you know what you're doing to me? Why do you do this to me?!? I don't want to have to hurt you!", Quatre said desperatly. Trowa reached out a hand, and since Quatre had slightly miscalculated the distance between them, caught Quatre's shirt. Trowa pulled him up into his face, so Quatre could smell Trowa's stinking breath, a combination of alcohol and whatever he'd eat last, and yelled in his face  
  
"Shud up!" He then roughly pushed Quatre aside. A little too roughly, and Quatre fell backwards, banging his head against a coffee table and passing out. Quatre had tried to say conscious, not trusting Trowa, while drunk, with his unconscious self, but was forced to give in to the darkness.  
  
***  
  
Not much later, Quatre awoke. His head throbbed horribly, and he was in a daze, but he knew he had to get outta there. Quietly, as to not disturb Trowa, wherever he was, Quatre managed to pick himself off the floor and send himself out the door.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing, he was heading to Heero's room. Appearently, he had managed to get enough sense together to make it in front of Heero's door. Quatre thwacked at the door, and it was Duo who opened it. A reminder of what couldn't be between Quatre and Heero. Duo saw Quatre sway, and begin to fall, and managed to catch him before he hit the ground.  
  
"Whoa! Heero! Quatre's hurt!", called Duo, and before he'd finsihed, Heero was at his side, relieveing him of Quatre's weight. Heero carried Quatre over to his own bed, and carefully put Quatre down on it.  
  
"What's wrong, Quatre?" Heero asked, not seeing any obvious wounds at first glance. Duo came to stand on the side of the bed oppisite Heero, looking worried. Then Quatre tried to lift his head off the bed, and Heero noticed blood on the pillow, and gently pushed Quatre back down, telling him, "Don't move" then looking up at Duo, Heero continued, "Get a doctor or some other medical aid." Duo didn't not need to be asked twice, and in a second was at the phone.  
  
"Quatre, What happened?" Heero questioned, his voice holding tones of... concern? anxeity? a mixture of both? Quatre avoided Heero's gaze, and didn't say a word. The he started, as Heero suddenly leaned in close, and said in the softest whisper one can imagine,  
  
"Did he do this to you?". There was not mistaking who 'he' was. Quatre didn't understand how Heero could know, and, still confused, nodded his head, and was rewarded with a new eruption of pain in his skull.  
  
"Don't move your head" Heero said, as quietly as before, "We will talk about it after the doctor sees to you". By the sound of his voice, Quatre knew there would be no getting out of that. Quatre answered , "..alright.." and Duo came over to the both of them.  
  
"A doctor will be up soon, until then, we can't let Quatre pass out or sleep in anyway."  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
  
"So, what happened?" Heero inquired patiently. Quatre touched the bandage on his head lightly before saying anything. The were alone in the room. Quatre didn't know where Duo went, he just sorta disappeared after the doctor left. Quatre probably wouldn't have said word one, otherwise. But first, he had a question of his own.  
  
"How'd you know?"  
  
"Rashid called. He told me you'd had some brusies and cuts and things. Does he abuse you?"  
  
"No! ...well, I mean, he does, but--"  
  
"There isn't any excuse, Quatre. You can't let him hurt you like that." The thought of someone hurting Quatre made Heero's blood boil. He wanted to kick the shit of of Trowa this very instant, he'd been wanting to since Rashid called, but for Quatre's sake, he'd resisted that urge. He didn't want Quatre hurt any more, physically or emotionally. He wonder absently why he cared so much, usually he left the others to take care of themselves. But something was different about Quatre, and he wanted to protect him, for some reason, especially from things like this.  
  
"I know. But I can't hurt him. He only does these things when he'd drunk...". Now the situation was becoming clearer to Heero.  
  
"And that's happening more often." Heero stated. He didn't need to ask. Quatre nodded, and once again awoke the pain in his head, but it was duller this time, thanks to painkillers. Heero was about to ask if Quatre had tried talking to him, but realized there wasn't a need to ask that. Of course Quatre had talked to Trowa about it, so he said, "If he isn't willing to help himself.. since it is obvious he has a problem with alcohol... there isn't anything you can do. It won't get better, Quatre."  
  
"yea, I know--"  
  
"If you know all this, then why are you still with him?"  
  
"I... well... this probably sounds stupid... but... I don't want to be alone." Quatre answered. Heero knew that feeling, although he'd refused to let anyone know about it.  
  
"That isn't stupid. Alot of people want someone to understand them, and be there for them. It's natural, I guess... I feel that way." Heero admitted.  
  
"Yeah, but you have Duo." Heero raised an eyebrow at that. He wondered who'd started that rumor, anyway.  
  
"News to me." Quatre looked up at him, surprised. The blonde had such beautiful eyes... and usually, Heero didn't think things like that about people. Again, Quatre was different, he was the exception...  
  
"So you're..?" Quatre asked, wondering if his hope was leaking into his facial expression and voice.  
  
"...single? Yes. Now you're getting us off track. What are you going to do about Trowa?"  
  
"I... I'll talk to him."  
  
"Want me to be there? Or someone else?" Heero hoped that 'I'll talk to him' would translate to 'I'll tell him I'm leaving.'  
  
"No... I wanna try this alone." Heero nodded, stood up, and let the subject drop.  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
Quatre peeked his head into the suite. He spotted Trowa watching on their bed, watching TV.  
  
"Trowa.." Quatre paused as Trowa looked over. He was about to say 'we have to talk'. But Quatre had tried talking for months on end, and it hadn't working so he had to just spit it out. "I'm leaving you."  
  
Trowa looked shocked, "Quatre..? Was it about last night? Oh, God, Quatre, I'm so sorry..." Funny how Trowa was sorry now that Quatre said he was leaving, but had never bothered to tell him that any other time.  
  
"No. I have to go. A servent will get my things, and I'll pay for this room until you don't need it anymore." Trowa jumped up and grabbed Quatre by the arm. Quatre wouldn't look into his eyes, lest he cave in while looking at Trowa's magificent green eyes.   
  
"Quatre, I'm sorry about all the other times, too. I was just so ashamed I did those things to you... please forgive me?"  
  
"I forgive you, but I'm still leaving" said Quatre, trying to sound firm. He pulled away from Trowa's grasp, and headed for the door. Trowa said in a soft voice, "I love you".  
  
"And I love you, still Trowa... but.. but ..", Quatre felt tears in his eyes, "I'm leaving! I can't take this anymore!" and walked out the door before Trowa could say another word.  
  
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
Heero held the sobbing Quatre. He was surprized he was doing it. Quatre would be, too, if he could think straight.  
  
"Shhh..", Heero began awkwardly, not used to having to comfort people at all, "You did what you had to.."  
  
Quatre just continued to sob, and Heero just held him, and that's exactly what Quatre needed and wanted right now. Heero had already called Duo and arranged for him to stay with Wufei for awhile. Those two had been getting rather friendly, anyway.  
  
***  
  
When Quatre woke up, sunlight streaming into the windows, Heero was still holding him. Heero was alseep and propped up against the backboard of the bed, only a cheap hotel pillow between him and the hard wood, but his arms still encircled Quatre, and gave Quatre more comfort than he ever thought such a simple thing could do.  
  
"How can someone love me this much?" he asked softly. No... it wasn't love. It couldn't be...  
  
"It's easy... especially for anyone who can hear or see", Heero mumbled, and cracked open an eye, "Good Morning"  
  
Quatre managed a slight smile, "Good morning.... Heero?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do you really love me?" He asked, and then decided he had to specifiy, "I mean, is it more than a just-between-friends love?"  
  
"Yes. But I don't want to rush you into any relationship beyond what we have now. You're going to need some time."  
  
"Oh, Heero..." Quatre said, eyes welling up with tears again, but not tears of sadness. He had dreamed about being with Heero for so long, but who could have imagined the perfect soldier would understand his needs so... well... so perfectly?   
  
"Now, I think we could both use something to eat. Wanna call room service?" Heero said simply, and Quatre, for the first time in a long while, truely smiled.  
  
  
++++++++++The End++++++++++  
  
  
I'm going to let it end there for now, although I might write short epilouge (and change the title)... if you want one, you should probably ask. Anyway, hope you enjoyed it, although it was kinda predictable, ne? Oh well, it's my first answer to a challenge (that I screwed up, oh well...), not to mention 1x4. I think my use of peanutbutter and pillows was probably kinda cheap, but oh well. Maybe I revise it one day.. Please review! Pweety pwease wit schocolate 'n' toffee on top???   
  
-ShinigamisAngel  
shinigamisangel@yahoo.com 


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